After mature reflection following the dream of 08/01/2020, I know for a fact that the Mental Flagelhorn is actually my unconscious. The word “unconscious” had already appeared several times in my notes, but I had never been able to get concrete proof.
Long before I even started paralysis, I always knew that my unconscious was acting in the shadows to protect me like Batman (That could be the new nickname of the Mind Flayer, but since I like to piss him off, I’m going to keep calling him “Mind Flayer” (well, you have to piss of your buddies ! LOL)). He was always there to help me move forward and I knew it deep down inside !
As an example of what he did, I often listened to people in depression at the time. I remember managing four people at the same time with my PC and my phone, while taking the courses (yeah, I was too good :p ). The problem was that I was absorbing without realizing the sadness of each person. Over time, I developed a kind of rejection against depressed people: when I saw one, he would bother me for no real reason. In fact, I understood how he felt and what stage of depression these people were at. My unconscious prevented me with this rejection from approaching them, so that I would not fall back into the vicious circle where I would absorb the sadness of these people and become depressed in my turn.
Thanks to this “rejection” of depressives, I understood later on that to help a depressed person, you shouldn’t try to do the “job” for him to get better, as I used to do. You just have to give him a boost: a little chat, a little outing, advice, moral support… but no more Skype until noon listening to the person. Since then, even though I’m surrounded by fewer people today compared to back then, I’m better at guiding people forward, even though I don’t pretend to be any good at all.
This is just one example, but I know that my unconscious is there all the time. I don’t know exactly to what degree, but for example today I wanted to finish a task at work before I left. But at the time I thought this, a voice in my head told me clearly that it wouldn’t do me any good to do this for a bunch of losers tonight and leave work because it was already late. The question is if that voice was really my subconscious or if it was just a second thought on my part…
Despite all this, we still don’t know exactly why the Mind Flayer appears in my dreams. He probably wants to communicate, but is there anything else he’d like?
Since paralysis is considered a sleep disorder, is this the way he chose to come and visit me ? Perhaps he had no other choice at the time…
And following his appearance at the dream of 08/01/2020, which is a dream without sleep paralysis, the Mind Flayer was present, like a simple spectator and able to act of his own free will. Now that I have mastered lucid dreams in the context of sleep paralysis (because I initially wanted to have lucid dreams only during paralysis), could I see when I want the Mind Flayer ?
I think I could try to force his appearance, but often rushing things is not always a good thing to do, and so far, it is always the Mind Flayer that comes to visit me, with an average interval of two weeks to a month (if you forget recent dreams or the interval was less than a week). With time, I can quite often feel when I’ll get his visit at the time: at the time, I used to predict it based on statistics, but I can feel it instinctively, I’ll say.
I haven’t had a visitor for 15 days now and I must admit that I miss it now. The only dreams I have most of the time are the ones where the Mind Flayer appears. It is very rare that I remember other dreams. The Mind Flayer animates my nights and now that I consider him a friend, I miss seeing him… Especially since, considering all he has done, I consider him one of my best friends!
That’s why, even though we had a tense start to our relationship, I wouldn’t force his hand and I would wait patiently for his next visit. I hope one day I’ll have more than a few minutes to chat with him and ask him what he wants from me, because if we’re going to live together, we have to be able to cooperate together !
I’d also like to ask him if he doesn’t mind if I talk to some trusted people about him, to help some people suffering from sleep paralysis, because maybe our Mind Flayer wants to continue to be discreet like Batman… Or should I say like a Faceless Man… X’D
Finally, he must know my intentions … Then from the point where you grab a person’s hand like in the romance movies, it means you have a strong relationship with them, so I don’t worry about that.
In the future, if I have so many “powers” in my dreams, we’ll have to see if I’ve been in the same mansion as often lately and why ? We’ll also have to see what the Mind Flayer, in his all too cute doggie form, didn’t want me to see after the door in the dream 14/12/2019 (since the narrator was talking to me about ghosts, it would be ghosts from the past according to a specialist). But if I can’t get those answers, I could always keep playing with Mind Flayer XD
Anyway, I feel so much better in everyday life since I know who the Mental Flagellation is ! I feel like a positive energy is invading me every day !